Review #7 - The Fiesta Beer Review

One of the Escandon siblings decided that her garage would make a great setting for a beer tasting for toda la familia! So everyone and their uncle came over to taste a random assortment of brews and merriment was had by all.

Beer #1 - Alaskan Jalapeño Imperial IPA
8.5% ABV
Red in color

Mamma Whittington - The color is nice.
Ruben Jr. - It's not spicey, but I taste the jalapeño flavor. I could drink this with nachos!
Pappa Whittington - If you hold it in your mouth you'll taste the jalapeño.
Lynn - I still don't taste any jalapeño.
Kurt - Blah.
Melinda - Not a fan.

Beer #2 - Josephsbrau Bawarian Style Hefeweizen
5.3% ABV

Kurt - Is this a UTI beer, Mel?
Melinda - Nah, it's something else. It's rather thick! Has a cinnamon taste.
Lynn - It has a spice to it.
Tiff - A winter spice.
Kurt - Wow, it tastes very smooth on your tongue.
Lynn - Not my favorite hef.
Christina - I do taste the clove.
Ruben Sr. - I def taste the dirt in it.

Beer #3 - Green Flash Treasure Chest IPA
5.7% ABV

Melinda - It's a UTI for sure.
Lynn - It's not a football beer!
Ruben Jr. - It'd be good with fish tacos.
 - Lyn - Yeah, fish tacos with mango salsa!
Ruben Jr., Jr. - It's not too heavy. I like it.
Jamison - I don't taste the grapefruit, but it's good. Refreshing.
Kurt - It's not bad, but it's a run-of-the-mill IPA.

Beer #4 - Ballast Point Sculpin IPA
7% ABV

Christina - This is a staple beer.
Ruben Jr. - Yeah, this has become the go-to IPA.
Papa Whittington - It has a good crispness to it.
Christina - It's hoppy but not too hoppy.
Tiff - I could drink a whole bottle and brush my teeth with it.
Melinda - Ugh, I can't do that one.

Beer #5 - Firestone 805
4.7% ABV

Ruben Jr. - This is my favorite!
Lyn - It's the best.
Kurt - Boring!
Jamison - Eh, I think it's pretty good. Refreshing.
Christina - It looks like Miller Lite.
Melinda - It tastes like water.
Mama Whittington - The pickles are good! (winner of random comment of the day)

Beer #6 - Ale Smith Evil Dead Red
6.6% ABV
Red Ale

Christina - It smells like an IPA.
Papa Whittington - Its kind of malty.
Lynn - It's too strong for me, but I like it better than an IPA.
Jamison - It's okay.
Kurt - Yeah, it's not bad, but ever since I threw up a pitcher of red, I'm not a fan.
Ruben Jr., Jr. - I like it. I like darker beers.

Beer #7 - Saint Archer White Ale
5% ABV

Melinda - It smells like pee.
Ruben Jr., Jr. - Yeah, smells like a dirty bathroom.
 - Melinda - On your way to Fresno!
- Ruben Jr., Jr. - Or a bathroom trying to be clean.
Christina - The initial taste is lemony.
Mamma Whittington - It's refreshing.
Papa Whittington - Definitely has an orange peel taste.
Ruben Jr. - Tastes like pee!
Mamma Whittington - How do you know what pee tastes like???
Ruben Jr. - Well, I was out in the desert this one time . . .

Beer #8 - Knee Deep Brewing Co. Simtra Tripel IPA
11.25% ABV

Kurt - Smells like going on a hike.
Lynn - I don't like it.
Tiff - Less hoppy than I thought it would be.
Papa Whittington - I love it - got some kick to it!

Beer #9 - Guiness Extra Stout

7.5% ABV

Melinda - It's actually not bad.

Michael - Yeah, it's my favorite.

Mama Whittington - I can chug this!

Ruben Jr., Jr. - It doesn't have a beer taste.

Lynn - It has a very coffee taste.

 - Kurt - Well duh.

Ruben Sr. - It's good!

Lynn - This isn't good, but I like the Guiness Black Lager better. 

Tiff - I drink enough coffee, I don't need amy beer to taste like coffee, too. 

Beer #10 - Whiskey Barrel Aged Amber Beer

12% ABV

Ruben Jr. - This has a good story (on the bottle) - give me a hit. It has a whiskey hit to it!

Papa Whittington - Melted wax cap - this is some high class shit!

Lynn - Doesn't taste as strong as it should. It's smooth.

Kurt - It has a serious "huh."

Christina - Does this have a scent? I can't smell anything.

Kurt - I figured out the "huh" - its the whiskey! 

 - Melinda - You're so smart. 

Beer #11 - Figueroa Mountain Hoppy Poppy IPA

6.5% ABV

Kurt - I like it!

Everyone else - We're drunk . . .  

Note - Actually, the below pictured beer was the last beer we tasted that day. That would be beer #12. However, Mr. Notetaker here was too tanked to take notes and doesn't even remember drinking this beer. I didn't understand where this picture was from until my wife explained it all to me. 

Review #6 - The Anti-Hoppy Tasting

After a short break of 21 months since our last BBR, we reconvened to taste some brews. We were a little rusty with not only how to judge the beers, but apparently how to pick them as many of them tasted very similar. Regardless, by the end we were all pretty smiley.

Beer #1 - St. Archer White Ale
5% ABV

Melinda - Tastes like champagne, smells like Miller High Life.
Jake - Yeah, it has a champagne feeling on the tongue - fizzy.
Kurt - It tastes and feels very "lagger-ish" for an ale.
Christina - Smells a little grassy.
Jake - It's a burp-a-lot kind of beer.
[Large burp blasted by Melinda]
Melinda - A UTI beer and it's real hoppy if it sits in your mouth.
Christina - But otherwise, not so much.
Kurt - I'm disappointed in my choice.

Beer #2 - Coronado Brewing Co. Orange Avenue Wit

5.2% ABV

Whit beer brewed with honey & spices. 

Melinda - Hoppy, at least more-so than Blue Moon.

Christina - Yeah, weird for a wheat beer, though. Doesn't taste like a wheat.

Jake - Looks like Blue Moon, but I think tastes like Shock Top.

Kurt - It's scent is the absence of scent.

Christina - I think it smells the same as the first beer, but tastes better. 

Jake - Very fizzy when it's first poured, then lost it's fiz and got foggy. You can see particles of something floating around. Probably orange peal? The end of your glass tastes really good - smooth.

Beer #3 - Ska Brewing Company True Blond Dubbel Belgian Ale

8% ABV

Wax sealed bottle. Neat!

Christina - Soapy looking.

Jake - Very strong when drinking it but no aftertaste. 

Kurt - Smooth. 

Christina - Like buttah.

Jake - Flavor is almost like a cream.

Kurt - Or like butter or olive oil - something thick and slimy. 

Melinda - Meh, tastes flat. 

Kurt - The clarity of this one is the opposite of the last one - starts cloudy in your glass, then clears up (stuff must settle).

Jake - It's not the type of beer you'd want to leave in your mouth. It gets real bitter.

Melinda - It does go down smooth even with a bitter taste. The first sip made me think of Blue Moon, again. It's smooth, kind of light, but you let it sit in your mouth, it gets bitter. 

Kurt - This one has more of a head to it.

Jake - Not an overwhelming amount, though.

Christina - It has enough flavor without being overwhelming. 

Jake - I'd have it again.

Christina - The burp tastes good, too!

#4 - Hitachino Nest Beer White Ale

5.5% ABV

Jake bought this one for the owl on the label

Christina - Lots of head on this one.

Jake - Def an Asian beer 

Christina - Cute label!

Kurt - Super cloudy.

Jake - Very fizzy.

Kurt - I don't think it's too fizzy, but it lacks taste.

Christina - It tastes like nothing.

Melinda - It has a distinct smell, though. Cinnaminnany as Ruben would say. Bitter taste. 

Jake - I think it's a sour aftertaste. Made my jaw tingly from the sourness. Feels like it got nastier the longer it sat, but maybe that's because the glass has been in my hand so long. 

#5 - Avery Brewing Co. The Reverend 

10% ABV

The Holy Trinity of Ales. Belgium style quadruple ale

Christina - The description seems like something you'd read on a wine bottle.

Jake - Cool label, it's reflective.

Melinda - The logo on the bottle reminds me of the Angel's logo. This one's a darky. 

Jake - Sure smells like a red ale, like Newcastle.

Kurt - Newcastle's a brown ale.

Jake - You sure?

Kurt - No. 

Google says Newcastle is a brown ale.

Melinda - [first sip] Ewwwwwww . . . though maybe that M&M I just ate threw off the taste. 

Christina - Tastes flat but sweet.

Jake - Carmel coloring.

Kurt - Carmel smell for sure.

[Tangent - 

Kurt - Mel, did you know until just recently that your sister thought sword was pronounced swa-ord?

Melinda - . . . .

Christina - She thinks its pronounced that way, too!

Jake - Its sword, mom. The W is silent.

Melinda - I'm looking this up!

End Tangent]

Jake - I think this is pretty good.

Kurt - Yeah, I taste the carmel.

Christina - I like darker beers, but not sweet, so I don't think I could drink a whole glass.

Jake - Hell no.

Kurt - Yeah, it's pretty heavy.

Melinda - This one's a tough one for me. And it's supposed to be hoppy? [looking at bottle]

Christina - I don't taste any hops. Just sugar.

#6 - Smog City Coffee Porter

6% ABV

Christina - Cool label artwork.

Melinda - Looked like it came from a coffee shop.

Christina - "Smog City" makes me think it's gonna be nasty.

Melinda - [first sip] Mmmm, rum!

Christina - I bet it's gonna be super flat.

Kurt - Totally smells like a dark roast coffee.

Jake - Foam looks like coffee foam.

Melinda - So if I put ice on this and take it to work . . . 

Jake - But it tastes nothing like coffee at first.

Kurt - Strong coffee aftertaste and smell, but tastes rather watery.

Melinda - I could put cream in this and drink it like a coffee . . . at work. Or with dessert.

Jake - I wonder if you spilled it on  your shirt if it would stain? [Receives weird look from Kurt]

Melinda - Totally doesn't taste like a beer. No beer flavors.

Kurt - Yeah, tastes like an iced black coffee.

Melinda - Lemony aftertaste if you wait a while.

Jake - If you're gonna drink & drive, this would be a good one to have 'cause you might have coffee breath.

Kurt - That's not how those work, at all . . . 

Melinda - [giant burp] OMG, it tastes and smells like coffee!

In conclusion: White Ales suck. 

Review #5 - Belgium's Classic Ale Staples

For this beer review we took a field trip to the Total Wine in Huntington Beach for one of their tasting classes. It's a great program they have - $15 gets you a tasting of some good beers, the history of the beer and region, plus all the pizza you can eat!

This tasting was all Belgium beers who have the famous brewing monks. Monks brewed beer not because they were all a bunch of drunks, but that was the best way to make the water safe to drink in the years before chlorine. Their every-day drinking ales were real low ABV so you could drink it all day long, not get drunk and stay hydrated. They'd brew stronger ABV ales, though, for "fun" consumption. "Trappist" beers are beers that are brewed inside of a monastery. "Abbey" beers are ones were the recipe comes from a monastery, but are brewed outside the monastery. St. Arnold is the patron saint of Belgian breweries. 

Beer #1 - Dupont Florent
Farmhouse Ale
7.5% ABV

While highly carbinated, it has a lackluster apperance. It has a very light taste - hardly noticable. Paring this beer with cheese would help the taste a lot. It's recommended this is drunk out of a tulip class and served at a temperature in the mid 50's F.

On a scale of 100, this one gets a 72.

Beer #2 - Martens Witte
Witbier
4.8% ABV

A refreshing, orange taste. Would be a good beer to drink after a run. It has a lackluster appearance but an inviting smell and an appealing feel in the mouth. Comes in a can and recommended to drink out of a mug. Serve at a cool temperature around 50 degrees F.

On a scale of 100, this one gets a 79.

Beer #3 - Antigoon
Pale Ale
6.7% ABV

Fairly clear, but very orange in color. Christina thought it smelled like a pistachio swamp. It has quite an interesting aroma - Earthy. Great taste, not bitter. Malty. Recommended to drink out of a tulip glass, cold at around 50 degrees F.

It's sister style is a Belgian Blond Ale.

On a scale of 100, this one gets a 90!

Beer #4 - Kwak
Strong Pale Ale
8.4% ABV

Dark golden color. Not much taste considering it's color. It's a little malty. The high ABV content is hidden in the taste. The brewers of this beer use a Belgian candied sugar as yeast. Recommended to drink out of a tulip or wine glass and a serving temperature in the mid to upper 50's F.

On a scale of 100, this one gets an 82.

Beer #5 - Flying Fish Exit 4
Belgian-style Tripel
9.5% ABV

Brewed in New Jersey. Light golden look, like apple juice. Smells crisp and sweet, but very hoppie. It tastes like a Riesling wine at first until the hops kick in. It's very sweet. It's good, but it'd be tough to drink a lot of it. You'd also get pretty drunk pretty fast. Recommended to drink out of a wine glass and serve cool at around 50 degrees F.

On a scale of 100, this one gets a 90!

Beer #6 - Poppering Hommel Ale
Belgian IPA
7.5% ABV

Cloudy look to it. The smell isn't very hoppie. It's very carbonated but not very bitter in taste. Not a whole lot of flavor to it except an egg aftertaste. We're used to the IPA's of San Diego county that have a much stronger, bitter taste to them. Recommended to drink out of a wine glass or chalice and serve at a temperature in the mid 50's F.

On a scale of 100, this one gets a 72.

Beer #7 - Flying Fish Westmalle
Belgian-Style Dubbel
7.2% ABV

Very brown and cloudy in apperance. Lots of particles floating around in this one. Kurt though it was too fizzy. Christina liked this much better than an American-style Dubbel. It has something in it (yeast?) that balances out the sweetness of the malt. Recommended to drink out of a chalice or goblet and serve at a temperature in the mid 50's F.

On a scale of 100, this one gets an 80.

Beer #8 - Adriaen Brower
Belgian-Style Strong Dark Ale
8.5% ABV 

Dark brown in color. Smells a little like eggs. It's fizzy, but doesn't give much else for an impression. The beer has been discontinued, but if you could buy it, it's recommended to serve it at a temperature in the mid 50's F and any style of glass will suit it.

On a scale of 100, this one gets a 76.

Beer #9 - La Trappe
Belgian Quadrupel
10% ABV

Light brown color w/ particles floating around. Sweet smell of molasses. It has a very sweet, sugary taste. None of us noted what type of glass it's recommended to drink this out of. We were a bit tipsy by this point. It is recommended to serve this warm in the upper 50 degrees F.

On a scale of 100, this one gets a 76.

Beer #10 - Dauchese De Bourgogne
Red Ale
6% ABV

Very dark in color, yet clear. Smells like a farm and tastes like a vinegary wine. It was tough to finish the tasting pour.

On a scale of 100, this one gets a 70.

Beer #11 - Mikkeller Strawberry
Fruit Lambic
7.7 ABV

An unfiltered beer that is cloudy orange in color. It smells more like a barn yard than even the previous beer. It tastes like straight vinegar. There isn't a particular style of glass this beer can be drank out of, but the group recommended pouring this one into a toilet. It was univeraly hated. Drink it cold, drink it warm, it's going to suck either way.

On a scale of 100, this one gets a 6.

And that's the Belgians. The Antigoon Pale Ale and the Flying Fish Exit 4 Tripel were the run-away winners with the group. The Mikkeller vinegar beer is something to stay away from. It's $13.99 a bottle by the way!

Review #4 - Ambers & Irish

After a very, very long holiday break we reconvened in the barrio for another beer review. This time it was decided to tackle amber beers and Irish brews, since St. Patrick's Day is "right around the corner" even though it was only February 22nd. So really we could fit a second Irish beer tasting in before St. Patty's, however, we found that there really isn't that large an assortment of Irish beer. They invented Guinness and I guess they stopped there.

So here's what we got:

Beer #1 - Barrel Trolley Amber
5.3% ABV

Christina - It doesn't just look like beer, but beer and soda. It has a sweet flavor.
Melinda - Smooth, lemony. A good barbecue beer.
Ruben - A smooth flavor with a dark taste. Almost medicinie or like what I think eucalyptus would taste like.
Alana - Yeah, I get that feeling, too. Smooth, but it tastes numbing, like an antiseptic.
Kurt - I like the label.

Beer #2 - Fat Tire Amber
5.2% ABV

Melinda - It looks nice and clear. No UTI's.
Christina - But it tastes like dirt!
Kris - Yeah, it's Earthy. It has a grassy/straw character.
Kurt - I think this one smells like a hangover.
 - Melinda - Like a dirty bar?
Ruben - I think it's a good party beer.

Beer #3 - Green's Amber Ale
Gluten Free (no crustaceans)
6.3% ABV

Alana - Whoa! I taste apples.
Christina - Yucky aftertaste. A bit of a pale aftertaste with the apple.
Ruben - Really medicinie. The carbonation is different.
Kurt - I like this one the best out of the first three.
Lynn - It could use crustaceans.

Beer #4 - Murphy's Red Ale
Irish
5.0% ABV

Ruben - That's light and hoppy.
Christina - I could drink this all night. It's not that strong.
Kris - It's smooth.
Alana - The Budweiser of Ireland?
Kurt - There's no taste.

Beer #5 - Abita Christmas Ale
5.0% ABV

Ruben - That's really piney.
Alana - Yuck, yuck, get that off my tongue!
Kris - Quite perfumie.
Kurt - It's an amber IPA.
Melinda - I'm not a fan.

Beer #6 - Anderson Valley Boont Amber Ale
5.8% ABV

Christina - Ugh, this looks like a UTI beer.

Alana - Good but only in small doses. Though kind of like a Vicks cough drop.
Lyn - I'm not loving this one.
Kris - A bit of an armpit smell to it. Maybe a sweaty Winnie the Pooh. Mild taste, though. 
Kurt - Meh, not bad.

Beer #7 - Guinness Red Harvest Stout
Irish (duh)
4.1% ABV

Alana - Poured into your glass, it looks like a lava lamp as it settles. It tastes light.
Lynn - It's flat!
Christina - Doesn't taste like a normal Guinness. Easy to drink.
Melinda - I'd order this in a bar.
Ruben - You guys are talking me into liking this one.
Kurt - The first thing I taste is water.

Beer #8 -  Guinness Extra Stout
Irish
5.0% ABV

Kris - Not as flat as the Red Harvest. I like this Guinness a lot better.
Ruben/Melinda/Lynn - This is what I imagine a Guinness to taste like.
Christina - Black licorice! Though it could be the nacho I just ate. It tastes like every other beer we've thrown away because it's gone flat.
Kurt - Guinness out of a bottle is terrible.

Beer #9 - Guinness Black Lager
Irish
4.5% ABV

Melinda - Chocolaty. It tastes like "other beers."
Lynn - Not as flat. I like this one.
Ruben - I like it. It tastes like any other lager.
Christina - I expected more.

Beer #10 - Wexford Irish Style Creme Ale
Irish? No, it's an English beer. Sons-a-bitches tricked us!
5.0% ABV

Ruben - Does "Irish style" mean flat? I like the flavor, though I just don't like how it's flat.
Lynn - I taste some caramel. 
Kurt - Yeah, it's flat but I taste a lot of caramel, too.
Christina - I don't like this one.
Melinda - I don't get a normal aftertaste with this one.
 - Alana - But I taste something.
Kris - The sweetness is weird.

Beer #11 - Harp Premium Lager
Irish (from the brewers of Guinness)
5.0% ABV

Ruben - This is the Budweiser of Irish beers.
Melinda - But with a kick.
Kurt - No bitter taste to it. That surprises me.

Bonus Beer - Ballast Point Pale Ale
San Diego
5.2% ABV

Christina - Smells poochie.
 - Kris - Coochie? There is a big tuna on the label.
Lynn - I like it. I can taste citrus.
Ruben - I love pale ales. Ballast makes their beers easy to drink whether you're new to beers or a seasoned [drunkard].

So none of the ambers really stood out to us and if you're going to Ireland, you'd better like Guinness because that's about all there is. We all kind of rejoiced when we popped open the Ballast Point.

Review #3 - Brits & Krauts

The beers for this review were gringo's choice. It was Mr. Steinback/Whittington's birthday, so we drank all German and English beers. Beers were consumed in order by color from lightest to darkest.

Beer #1 - St. Pauli Girl Lager
German
Abv 4.9%

Lynn - It looks and tastes like Budweiser, but more bitter than Bud. I think Hitler brought it over to kill us.
Mel - Smells like a hardcore, old school beer.
Christina - Smells like Coors.
Ruben - I like it!

Beer #2 - Hopf: Helle Weibe
German
Abv 5.3%

Helle Weibe is similar to a hefewizen

Mel - This smells much sweeter than the lager
Ruben - Cinnamony; tastes like Christmas
Lynn - I taste the spice, I like it.
Christina - It doesn't taste as "thick" as other hefs
Ruben - I don't usually like wheat beers, but this one's not that bad. *burp*
Lynn - It smells different coming out of Rubin's burp.

Beer #3 - Wells & Young Banana Bread Beer
English Pale Ale
Abv 5.2%

Kurt - The greatest beer in the history of Earth.
Ruben - It's too sweet.
Christina - It's very golden in color. When it first hits your pallet it really tastes like banana.
Lynn - I could order this at a bar. Very flavorful - desserty.  I can really smell the banana.
Mel - Not bad. I like the smell.

Beer #4 - Morland's Old Crafty Hen
English Ale
Abv 6.5%

Christina bought this with her older sister, Mel, in mind.

Ruben - This is smooth. After you drink, breath out with your mouth partly open and you taste raisin.
Kurt - It smells like an amber.
Christina - It doesn't have the smell that I normally equate to beer, which I think always smells like piss. Though we should get it again and chill it more.
Mel - Oh my god. *hack* It left my mouth so dry.

Beer #5 - Bamber Mahr's Brau Christimas Bock
German
Abv 6%

Christina - It's a little hoppy, but I could drink this.
Ruben - It's like an IPA light

Note: rest of table is a little buzzed and is getting sleepy.

Beer #6 - Newcastle Brown Ale
English
Abv 4.7%

Ruben - This tastes like nothing, now.
Mel - Yeah, I barely taste a thing after the other beers.
Christina - Tastes like mud with water.
Lynn - I like it.
Kurt - It has more color than taste.

Beer #7 - Erdinger Hefe-Weizen Dunkel
German
Abv 5.3%

Mel - Smells good. Tastes like a strong Newcastle. I like it.
Ruben - It's very carbonated, like it's a man's soda.
Kurt - I think it smells like seaweed.
Christina - An oaky aftertaste.
Lynn - Doesn't taste as thick as it looks. I like it because it doesn't have a lot of taste.

Beer #8 - Mean Time London Porter
English
Abv 6.5%

Lynn - It tastes very different and looks like a dip cup.
Kurt - It smells like fish or bait.
Christina - Smokey. Not my favorite porter, but I'll drink it.
Ruben - Bitter coffee. I wouldn't buy it, but I'd drink it.
Isaac (guest taster) - It tastes like bitter old-man ass.

That wraps up BBR #3. Most of the beers were a little bland compared to ones tasted in the past. Wells & Young Banana Bread Beer was the default winner.

Review #2 - Blondes and IPA's

For this second beer tasting the ladies in the group thought blondes sounded nice - cute and fun! IPA's were chosen as well to 1. be a stark contrast to the blondes and 2. IPA's are the it beer right now, not just with hypsters, but particularly in Southern California. It's all but mandatory for breweries in San Diego County to make an IPA their primary beer.

So, lets get to the beer . . .


Blonde #1 - Wychcraft
4.5% ABV
A dry tasting beer.

Christina - Smells like Coors Light! It's a beer my dad would like.
Kurt - The smell reminds me of a (cheap) beer from high school.
Ruben - Yeah! Like a beer from high school. No foo-foo flavors, just straight out beer. What teenagers should drink if they're going to drink beer. It's an expensive sporting event beer.
Lynn - Tastes like pee . . . but I don't know what pee tastes like. 

Blonde #2 - Stawberry Blonde
4.5% ABV
Very strong strawberry smell. Lemony, zesty, bitter.

Kurt - Mmmmm, smells like girls in elementary school. It has a lot of smell, but not a lot of taste.
Ruben - Oh yeah,  it smells like that lip gloss that Brenda Hughsman used to put on.
Melinda - This is a beer that you can put sugar on the rim and have, like, a lemon drop.
Lynn - Maybe you have to, to give it some flavor.

Blonde #3 - Afflingem
7% ABV
It's got floaties. You can taste the hops, but without the bitter hoppiness of IPA. In general, the group thought it was very good, but hard to describe.

Melinda - Smells good.
Kurt - More carbonated.
Ruben - Almost like a wheat beer. Kind of thick/syrupy. Rich in beer flavor.
Lynn - It would make you full very fast.

Blonde #4 - The Lost Abbey Devotion
6.25 ABV
Hoppy, tastes more like a mild IPA

Ruben - Tastes like a hoppy Fat Tire.
Melinda - It's thick. Looks like pee with a UTI. So hoppie my burp hopped out of my throat.
Lynn - It smells like farts.
Kurt - The bottle pours weird. It was hard to poor without a foamy head and it dripped everywhere. 

Blonde #5 - Alley Cat Amber Ale
5.5% ABV
Slightly bitter after taste, but smooth flavor while drinking. Very refreshing

Ruben - Whoa, I got a totally different flavor than the first sip . . . like my buds were confused.
Kurt - Wouldn't drink it with food. It has too much flavor.
Ruben - Yeah, except for pizza! It would be excellent with pizza.

IPA #1 - Port Brewing Wipe Out IPA
7% ABV

Melinda - Holy!!! . . . If I were to eat shit, this would go good with it.
Lynn - Can you write this down? (bitter beer face)
Ruben & Kurt - We think it's like something you could drink on a hot day at the beach.
Christina - You know what IPA's taste like to me? Like you're chewing on an orange or a lemon peel. This one, though, tastes like a 16 year old boy's . . . . . . . armpit.

IPA #2 - Port Brewing Mongo
8.5% ABV
Smell is not as strong and flavor is more mild than previous Port Brewing IPA.

Melinda - It looks like sewer water.
Kurt - It tastes like the last one, to me.
Ruben - Ah, smells like feet. It's stronger taster . . . it's strongier. You can tell these beers have more alcohol.

Lynn - Didn't I say this one tastes fruity?
Melinda - That was three beers ago.

By the 7th beer, the conversation had turned to farts, hot boxing and cartoons . . .


IPA #3 - Renaissance Brewing Company Malty Pale Ale
8.5% ABV
New Zealand brewed beer

Ruben - This is the best IPA I've ever had. It's crisp, not citrusie. A smoother IPA.Hint of chocolate; dark chocolate.
Melinda - Like how mom likes her men.
Lynn - I didn't make a face with this one.
Christina - It has a weird smell, like yeast. This one's bitterness hits the middle of my tongue. Smoky taste on the front. Go Kiwi's. This is a good tasting beer.
Kurt - I can really taste the malts
Ruben - Good to drink at a barbecue

Es bueno!

IPA #4 - Underworld IPA
6% ABV
Kurt - It smells sweet.
Ruben - Very sugary. If you have diabetes, stay away from it.
Christina - It was on sale for $1.99.
Melinda - And it tastes like a $1.99.

Barrio Beer Review Quote:
Melinda - "Addendum" - See, I can use big words.

Note: After beer #9 the conversation moved to menstruating. Ruben - "Hey, hey, lets go back to talking about farts."

IPA #5 - Stone IPA
6.9% ABV

Ruben - The typical IPA; little citrusie & hoppy, then a bitter aftertaste. Light flavor. A novice to a beer snob would appreciate this beer.
Kurt - It's the baseline IPA. You can tell it's a hypster beer - it has a long, self involved description.
Melinda - It smells like the first beer we had tonight; the Wychcraft.

Bonus Beer - Oyster Stout
4.5% ABV
Brewed with oyster shells.

Lynn - It looks like I'm drinking Ruben's dip cup.
Anonymous - It smells like a dookie yard. Doesn't taste how it looks.
Kurt - It tastes blah.
Lynn - It tastes better than I expected.
Ruben - I taste a hint of the sea.
Christina - A little salty.

And that wraps up BBR #2. Renaissance Brewing Company's Malty Pale Ale was the winner this round.